So it is happening. Master matched up with someone on a dating app and they will see each other on Thursday while he is in Paris. She’s young, gorgeous (I’ve seen a picture), tall and fit. She’s very keen on playing with Master and has even offered to host him for the night.

I was a mix of emotions when I saw her picture and realised it was indeed happening. I won’t deny I was am extremely jealous and insecure, but not in a bad way. I’m so excited for Master, I really hope that he will have an amazing time with her. My pussy is dripping just from thinking of them getting together.

Today, I went to the pharmacie downstairs to pick up a pack of condoms for Master. When I presented him with the box of ten, he commented that he wasn’t sure they’d be enough. Knowing Master, he’ll pack a few extra just to be certain. But ten not being enough?! That surely created a little knot of insecurity in my tummy.

I did a little homework which I feel a little shy sharing, but hey, you already know that I’m perverse and depraved as fuck, right? Anyway, to help myself out and ensure my head stays in a good space this Thursday night, I wrote the following which I intend to record myself reading, to listen to on playback while I use the vibrator on my chastity shield, trying futilely to get some pleasure.

Again, this is raw and unfiltered. Do I truly believe everything that I’ve written? No, of course not. My Master loves me unconditionally, I do deserve him, he’s not out of my league. But my little cuckquean brain likes to think so, so I indulge her because it makes me wet. 😉

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How does it feel to know that Master is currently in someone else’s arms? How does it feel to know that he will be sharing her bed tonight? How does it feel to know that, conversely, you are home alone – locked up tight in your chastity belt, no end and no pleasure in sight? How does it feel to have known the joy of his cock deep in your pussy, and to know that it is she who will be taking pleasure from him tonight? Worse, how does it feel to know that you will never again get to feel him thrust deep in your pussy and fuck you long and hard, exactly the way he is fucking her tonight?

This is your life now, little piggy. You’re a worthless little cuckquean, a fuck pig whose only known pleasure is taking Master’s cock down your throat and in your ass. Master doesn’t go down on you anymore, why would he want to put his mouth anywhere near your disgusting clit? Neither does he finger you so hard till the point where you squirt. Those orgasms are no longer a part of your life, so why bother stimulating those bits at all?

But you know Master is an amazing lover. You’ve experienced it before. It’s just a pity he will no longer do those things to you, you sad little fuckpig. And why should he, when you’re nothing in his eyes but a cum receptacle when he isn’t fucking better pussy and ass? And it’s on you, you were the one who gave him permission, nay, BEGGED him to see other women, date them fuck them, whatever he pleases. Deep down inside, you know you’re not good enough, you’re not enough, and he deserves better.

It’s already more than you deserve, to be given the privilege of being his wife and taking his name. It’s already more than you deserve to be kept as his houseslave, seeing to his needs at home. You don’t have the right to more than that, neither should you. Master deserves to enjoy younger women, women who are hotter than you are and will ever be, women who can show him a good time and give him the kind of sex and variety he craves. You are not enough. You are not hot enough, not fit enough, not young enough, not enough.

And of course Master should have anybody he wants. Look at him. He’s young, good looking, intelligent and such a charmer. Count yourself lucky he spends most nights with you, little piggy. Count yourself lucky he enjoys degrading and debasing you, using and abusing you. That’s all you’re worthy of, isn’t it? None of the pleasure and orgasms and nice slow touches, it’s always rough with you. He throws you around like you’re a doll, which you are – a fuckpig. He takes pleasure from you, you take what you can get. Pathetic.

Look at the picture of the lady he fucks tonight. Can you even compare? She’s gorgeous. She’s young, tall, with a figure that’s so much better than yours. Sure, you keep yourself in good shape, but have you seen your Master? He’s in another league, piggy, he’s out of your league. And of course he should fuck superior women who deserve him, not you. Imagine how amazing it must look, his body over hers, his cock in her wet pussy. Imagine them kissing, making out. When was the last time he made out with you? You can’t even remember, can you?

So repeat after me, little piggy…

I am pathetic.
I am a pathetic cuckquean.
I don’t deserve to cum, ever.
I don’t deserve Master’s glorious cock in my sad wet needy pussy.
I don’t deserve Master to pay my neglected clit any attention.
In fact, my clit deserves no attention at all, so much so that it’s locked up permanently.
I don’t even get to touch myself.
If I’m lucky, Master let’s me tease myself after he’s used me, but only if I’ve been a good fuck pig.
Touching myself is a privilege, not an entitlement.
Orgasms… Forget about them. I’m lucky I can cum from my ass, if you even consider that cumming. But those are the only types of orgasms I’m allowed, and even those are too good for me. They are a kindness from Master, again, not an entitlement.
I am happy when Master cheats on me.
I am happy when Master finds pleasure in the arms of a better woman.
I am jealous but I know it is right.
I am insecure but I deserve to be.
I am fulfilled when I am cucked.
I am a pathetic little cuckquean.