Waxing Lyrical, Yet Again

Photo by Jacqueline Munguía on Unsplash

For 7 weeks now, I have been Master’s slave and I truly have never been happier. I apologize that I keep waxing lyrical about my dynamic, but I really love how it’s fallen into place in such an effortless manner. The knowledge that Master is invested in training me to become the slave he wants thrills me to no end. It’s quiet within me when it comes to serving him. I love the inner peace and serenity it brings me. There is no questioning, second guessing, entertaining of doubts in my mind. It’s like I am finally where I have always wanted to be, on my knees and at his feet.

Yes, I am *stocktaking* again, as I am often wont to do. I like to read and reread the progression in my dynamic from day to day, week to week, month to month, and hopefully year to year. So let’s see… Where shall I begin?

I have been locked in my chastity belt since the 15th of February. It comes off whenever we fuck, and for the first few weeks, Master allowed me a few nights with it off, especially when pressure marks on my hips started appearing. However, we’ve since tightened the belt (I lost a little bit of weight) and with a  better fit, I now no longer require breaks. Master removes the belt prior to us fucking and it goes back on right after. Of course I take the opportunity to give it a good clean, and since we fuck nearly nightly, hygiene hasn’t been an issue. Interestingly, I kept the belt on throughout my menstruation, wearing panties with a sanitary pad over the belt. Yes, it got dirty, but it was nothing a good hot shower couldn’t fix. We are in the market for a stricter belt (I’m eyeing NeoSteel), probably with an anal opening so we have a little bit of variety.

I really love being in chastity. I’ve gotten so used to being belted that it feels weird to have it off. I actually fall asleep easier with the belt on now than without. How strange is that. It’s such a lovely and constant reminder that I belong to Master, so much so that I don’t even have access to my clit and pussy until he wants me to. I love going out with the belt on, knowing I wear this symbol of his ownership that no one else can see. I’m hoping that Master will be able to fuck me through the rear opening of the new belt, rendering it absolutely unnecessary to unlock me at all.

Master has been using my mouth daily. Whenever he surfs porn in his home office and wanks, he calls me in to ‘finish him off’ which I am more than happy to do. I crawl under his desk and suck him till he cums, swallow, clean him up with my mouth, thank him for using me and leave. Depending on the time of day, he usually tells me «get out» or «that’s all piggy, you may go now» after he cums. I really like the space it puts me in – I am just a cum receptacle for him in these moments, and the belt ensures I remain selfless in my endeavors. Master doesn’t even look at me while I suck him, he just continues surfing porn as though I am not there, which is such a turn on. I always get very wet serving him this way.

Master fucks me in the ass almost daily now. Thanks to a follower on FL who pointed me to some resources on healthier enemas, my enemas are now fast and painless. Master lets me know by mid-afternoon if he’ll be using me at night, and I clean myself up if he will. Our sessions are rough and intense with a lot of face slapping, face fucking and anal pounding. My clit is usually ignored, save for Master rubbing his cock against it while lubing himself up with my wetness. We don’t even need lube for anal sex, that’s how wet I get. I get to cum freely from my ass, Master wants my anal orgasms to be the only type of orgasm I enjoy, so that I will crave anal sex, not that I don’t already.

Master has also been giving me a lot of pain. At least once a week, sometimes more, he stripes my ass, thighs and calves with the rattan cane and delrin paddle. We brought other impact toys with us to France, but I’m such a sucker for pain that these are the two I gravitate towards, since they are the harshest. I love it when I have bruises on my ass and down my thighs, even better when they hurt so badly I feel them every time I sit. The pain is such a lovely reminder of my place as his pain pig.

I am still disallowed cunnilingus, finger fucking (or any pussy action really), and making out with Master. When we play/fuck, it really revolves around Master taking pleasure from me or giving me pain. His training has been very effective because I now keep thinking about these little acts which I used to love but not think too much of, and the humiliation of being permanently denied them (except once a year on our wedding anniversary) keeps me exceptionally turned on. Of course, as I’ve mentioned many times in my other posts, knowing that Master engages in these very acts with his cuckcakes reinforces the difference in treatment between them and me.

I’ve been sleeping most nights in the closet, starting about a week ago. For the first few days, we alternated between having me sleep in the closet and in Master’s bed, but it looks like I will be spending most of my nights in the closet moving forward. Master really loves tucking me in like a pet, giving me a kiss on the forehead and then getting to have the whole of his bed to himself. It took me a few nights to get used to sleeping in the closet since I can’t stretch out fully, but the last few nights have been fine. This one is an interesting development because we both really enjoy sleeping together, but I have to admit that sleeping in my piggy bed, as we lovingly call it, puts me in such a good headspace. The rare nights that Master allows me in his bed are special as a result, and I have come to appreciate them a whole lot more than I used to when they were a given.

Another recent development is that I now no longer have jurisdiction to choose and purchase my own clothes. Having been quite a shopaholic in the past, this will take getting used to. However, because of my current priorities, I haven’t been shopping at all on my own. The few shopping trips I’ve taken have been with Master, and he has been the one to send me to the changing room with items he chose. I really like that, so we decided to ‘officialise’ it. I’m not worried about this as Master has impeccable taste. Honestly, for the past few years, I’ve relied on him to ‘ok’ the things I purchase, so this is just us making it an actual rule. It’s perhaps one of the last bits of autonomy I still held on to, so while it is a small decision, it’s a pretty big step in my books.

My life is pretty simple now. My days are spent simply. I have tasks to complete, mostly pertaining to the housework, my French studies and exercise. Occasionally, Master has errands that he wants me to run and he’ll send me out of the house to get some fresh air. I will admit I am a hermit. If I can afford it, I probably would stay home every single day, so Master sends me on these little trips every week or so just to ensure I take a walk around the neighbourhood. I won’t talk about this much because I’ve already covered my daily tasks in detail in earlier writings.

I am aware that my training involves a lot of conditioning. Master has my enthusiastic consent, of course. In fact, a lot of the things we do were seeded by me and he took them on, developed them and ensured my obedience. A lot of the things we do might seem extreme, not because of how hardcore they are (they aren’t) but because they enter the realm of behaviour modification. The only reason why I feel safe enough to engage in these with Master is because he is my husband and life partner. I used to believe that submission was a gift, but that’s bull. I submit because it makes me feel alive, happy, at peace, and there’s really no other way I know how to be.

7 thoughts on “Waxing Lyrical, Yet Again

  1. I love reading about your life, Little Quean! Have you written a post about how the two of you met, and you evolved into your M/s dynamic? I would love to hear more about your beginning together. It sounds like the two of you have been together for years. XOXO

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  2. we’re just getting back to our dynamic as well after a short unavoidable break, your writing is inspiring and just what i need to keep me focused on our end goal too! *smiles* thanks for sharing!

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    1. I’m so glad that you found it inspiring. I’ve also been reading your entries and it’s lovely to see that you and your Master are slowly getting back into the groove too! Goodness knows life gets in the way of good things sometimes! It takes so much focus and determination to keep the dynamic going. All the very best!

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